Helen Adams Keller and Sullivan were very deeply impressed to me. She was born on 27 June 1880 in northwest Alabama in America, and died in her age 88.
When she was 2 year old baby, she was very sick. After that serious ill, she became blind and deaf.
In her age of 7, Helen met her teacher Anne Sullivan. Before meeting teacher Sullivan, Helen was uneducated and stubborn. Sullivan taught Helen very severely with patient and love. From that time Helen’s behavior improved and everything was changed. Sullivan was a really good teacher who changed Hellen’s life.
Finally, Helen was the first deaf-blind person who graduate university. Helen became a famous lecture who gives hopes to disabled people. I really admire Helen Keller’s efforts and Sullivan’s devoted love.
Apr 15, 2008
Helen Keller & Sullivan
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1 comment:
1) There are obvious introduction and conclusion in this essay. But in the introduction, 'She' is not clear who she means out of Helen Keller and Sullivan, and even though we guess that "She" is Helen Keller, the sentence looks a little meaningless for the introduction.
2) The paragraphs were well organized in chronological order and your intention is clear because you mentioned what impressed you.
3) But you used some words incorrectly. For example, in the introduction, person who got impression is you so the sentence should be changed into "I was impressed" or ".....impressed me". Your mistakes appear in especially nouns and adjectives. For example, you put ill instead of illness, patient instead of patience and lecture instead of lecturer. And in the 1st sentence of conclusion, in order to convey clear meaning, it would be better to use 'became' instead of 'was'.
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